Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Phillippe Petite Poem - Lorenzo Palma

The original poem took me about I'd say, 20-30 minutes just because it was very hard for me to initially come up with what I truly wanted to discuss in my poem. I didn't know whether I should've focused on the part that truly stood out to me or just summarize the whole event in general. Eventually, I decided to just encompass the whole event instead of focusing on one certain part since I thought, "The whole story itself was pretty significant, not one part really stood out above the rest seeing as it all was spectacular." The writing process was very simple, I chose the rhyme-every-other-line method but seeing as there's a lot more things that I could've done, and created a poem without ever rhyming, I decided to change that into something that would be more natural.

-----

He takes his first step on the wire.
Anxiousness, Excitement, Fear, Courage, Happiness,
Different emotions rush into him as he prepares to walk
Across the wire of his dreams.

Halfway across, the fear escapes him.
He smiles, laughs, and grins throughout the trip,
Like a little boy going on a road trip to his favorite amusement park.

The crowd from below gathers to watch this spectacle.
Looking up at the sky seeing nothing
But a speck of a man who dared to do such a thing.
Watching in awe as he crosses back and forth between the Twin Towers.

They cheer and yell and scream,
encouraging him to go again, and again.
But then, he realized that all good things must end.
He stepped off the wire, 
and bid the two gods farewell.
Posted by at

8 comments:

  1. UnknownSeptember 13, 2014 at 3:12 PM

    I like how you just focused on him walking on the wire, that is a different way to write the poem. You were also able to describe the walk on the wire a little more which was harder to do if you summarized the whole story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andrew BalsigerSeptember 14, 2014 at 7:40 PM

    I liked your simile "like a little boy going on a road trip to his favorite amusement park."
    It really gets across how much Philippe actually loved doing what he did.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownSeptember 15, 2014 at 7:25 AM

    I like how in your first stanza you go through the emotions that he is feeling. Also I like how in the second stanza you are showing different ways that he is expressing these emotions.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownSeptember 15, 2014 at 12:20 PM

    I like the last 3 lines of the poem a lot i wanted to add that part into my poem but couldn't think of a good way. You did an excellent job.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownSeptember 15, 2014 at 12:21 PM

    Great poem, telling exactly what needed to be told. Great use of his attributes and emotions in the beginning "Anxiousness, Excitement, Fear, Courage, Happiness."

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownSeptember 15, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    I like how you broke the actucal event into stages, takeing the first step, reaching the midle, stepping off. That was a neat style choice and I also liked the syntax you used.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownSeptember 15, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    I like the last two lines, it shows that he was 'defying' a god and shows strength and courage.

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownSeptember 15, 2014 at 12:27 PM

    Nice work lorenzo, I really like how your poem sounds and I like it how you describe his feelings as he walks on the wire.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)